Are you thinking about becoming a foster parent?
The US can always use more loving and caring foster parents — especially with over 390,000 children in care!
The truth is that you’re about to embark on a journey that can make a huge difference in a child's life. Foster care provides safe and nurturing homes for children in need.
Take it from Bill Ewolt, a Maryland foster parent, who describes what it’s like being a foster parent: Hi
"I want you to understand that my commitment to you goes beyond words. I am here to support you, to listen to you, and to fight for you every step of the way."
Without dedicated foster parents, many children wouldn’t have the supportive environment they need to grow and thrive.
If you’re ready to start your journey as a foster parent, it’s important to understand great foster parenting qualities while also remaining aware of factors that may prevent one from fostering.
While many people have the qualities to be excellent foster parents, there are certain factors that can disqualify an individual from fostering. These criteria ensure the safety and well-being of children in care.
Let’s take a look at what might prevent someone from becoming a foster parent.
The minimum age to become a foster parent varies by state. It typically ranges from 18 to 25 years old.
These age-related rules help ensure that foster parents have the necessary maturity and physical capability to care for a child.
A history of child abuse, neglect, or involvement in such activities can disqualify an individual from becoming a foster parent.
To safeguard children in care, thorough background checks are conducted in every state. These checks include reviewing criminal records, child protective services records, and sometimes even interviewing acquaintances.
The aim is to ensure that the foster home is a safe place and that children will not be exposed to any form of harm or danger.
Current or past issues with substance abuse can be a major red flag.
Applicants may need to demonstrate a significant period of sobriety and stability. This often involves providing evidence of participation in rehabilitation programs, ongoing counseling, or regular drug testing.
Stability and sobriety are crucial as they ensure that the foster parent can provide a healthy, consistent, and safe environment for the child.
Foster parents need to be financially stable to adequately provide for a child’s needs. Struggling to meet basic financial obligations can be a disqualifying factor.
Different states provide stipends to help with the costs of raising a child. These can be used for things like childcare, food, and even recreational activities. However, parents must be financially stable without the stipend to foster.
This financial stability includes having a steady income, a budget for necessary expenses, and the ability to handle unexpected costs. Financial assessments may be part of the application process to ensure that the potential foster parent can provide the child with food, clothing, education, and other essentials without undue stress.
The home environment must meet safety standards and home requirements set by the state.
Issues like lack of space, hazardous conditions, or unsanitary environments can disqualify an applicant.
During the home study process, inspectors will look for adequate living space, working smoke detectors, and general cleanliness. Additionally, homes with significant safety hazards, such as exposed wiring or unstable structures, will need to be repaired before a child can be placed there.
Health conditions that prevent an individual from properly caring for a child can be disqualifying.
Medical evaluations may be required to assess an applicant’s ability to provide necessary care, depending on the state. This helps ensure that the foster parent can meet the physical and emotional demands of fostering.
Conditions that severely limit mobility, cognitive function, or energy levels may raise concerns about the ability to actively engage with and care for a child.
The short answer is yes — depression may not immediately disqualify you from becoming a foster parent.
As long as you can demonstrate the ability to provide the love, support, and care that a child needs, you can foster even if you are living with depression.
Those whose primary motivation is financial gain or other inappropriate reasons won’t be able to foster.
The intent is always to provide a loving and supportive environment.
Foster parents should be driven by a genuine desire to help and support a child rather than personal gain.
During the assessment process, social workers will evaluate motivations through interviews and references to ensure that the potential foster parent’s heart is in the right place.
Great foster parents embody several key qualities.
These qualities ensure that children receive the care, support, and stability they need to thrive.
You don’t need to be perfect, though. As Erin Page-Brown, a former foster parent, states:
"We're not looking for perfection. We want foster families who have a story. We want foster families who have achieved things. We want foster families who are down to earth and understand that people make mistakes. Adults make mistakes and kids make mistakes and we can always come back from those."
Being a foster parent requires a lot of patience and understanding.
Sometimes, children in care will show challenging behaviors — as a foster parent, you’ll need to handle them calmly and constructively.
Many children in care have experienced trauma and require extra support. Recognizing this is crucial. Consistency and reliability are also key. Providing a stable environment helps children feel safe and secure, which helps them with their healing and growth.
Flexibility is another important quality for foster parenting.
As a foster parent, you need to adapt to new routines and changes in a child's needs or behavior. Being open to working with social workers, health professionals, and especially biological parents is vital.
You should also be willing to learn and implement different parenting techniques as needed. After all, each child is unique, and what works for one might not work for another!
Great foster parents are also great communicators!
Communication skills help build trust and understanding with a child in care. Effectively communicating with a child creates a bond and helps them feel heard and valued.
Keeping lines of communication open with social workers, therapists, and other professionals involved in a child's care is essential. Active and empathetic listening to the child's needs and concerns helps to address their issues and offer better support.
Being a foster parent requires a deep commitment to a child's long-term well-being and stability.
You must be available and present for them, both emotionally and physically. This means being there for them during tough times while also celebrating their successes!
Committing to the responsibilities and challenges of fostering shows the child that they can rely on you. This is incredibly important for their sense of security and trust.
Empathy is at the heart of being a good foster parent.
By seeking to understand the experiences and feelings of a child in your care, you can provide emotional support and comfort during difficult times. Building a nurturing and compassionate relationship helps the child feel loved and valued.
Your empathy can make a significant difference in their ability to heal and thrive!
Requirements and the process to beome a foster parent vary state-by-state. If you live in a state Mentor Foster care serves, you can get additional information here:
Now that you know what disqualifies you from becoming a foster parent, are you ready to learn how to start your journey?
You don’t need to go it alone. Get the support you need every step of the way with The Beginners Guide to Foster Care.
You’ll get an understanding of foster care basics, actionable tips to connect with children in care, and much more.