What is it Like to Be a Foster Parent?

Becoming a foster parent is a unique journey filled with love, challenges, and profound rewards. It's about opening your heart and home to children in need, providing them with the stability and care they crave.

The path to fostering involves meeting certain requirements and going through a thorough licensing process. However, the experience of being a foster parent extends far beyond the practical aspects. 

Let us take you through the steps of becoming a foster parent, the day-to-day responsibilities, the emotional highs and lows, and the long-term rewards. You’ll get the chance to get the real story with quotes from several foster parents who have been through the process.  

Whether you're considering fostering or just curious about what foster care is like, you must clearly understand this incredible journey!

The Excitement of the Matching Process

The matching process is an exciting and emotional journey for foster parents. It's a time filled with hope and anticipation as you prepare to welcome a new child into your home!

Sheronda Glenn, a foster parent from Ohio, shares her excitement about getting to know her child in care in her heartfelt letter:

"I look forward to cooking for you and doing fun things with you. Most of all, I hope to hear your hopes and dreams for your future and be a person you can trust to help you reach your goals."

Her words reflect the deep connection and commitment foster parents develop even before the child arrives. It's about creating a loving and supportive environment where children can thrive and achieve their dreams!

Advice for Reviewing Biographies 

Part of the matching process involves reviewing the biographies of children you may care for. When looking at these bios, it’s important to remember that a child’s story can’t be summarized in a few paragraphs. There is so much more to their story. 

Take it from Erin Page-Brown, a former foster parent and Mentor Family Development Evaluation Specialist:

"The children in our care have taught me that a child's story written on paper is not who they are. If you're going to read those bios and you are going to kind of look at their files and their records, just remember that our kids, their hearts, their souls, their minds are much more than what anyone could write on a descriptive bio."

Hear more about Erin's journey in this eye-opening video!

During the matching process, foster parents often imagine the future and the positive impact they can have on a child's life. It's a hopeful and inspiring phase that marks the beginning of a meaningful journey.

Welcoming a Child Into Your Home 

As a foster parent, it can be challenging for both you and the children entering your home. 

The word “home” comes with a sense of safety, and it’s something not all children have experienced in their lives.  Home requirements are important, but creating a safe space goes far beyond that. 

Erin explains why part of being a foster parent involves building trust with the children in your care – a trust that it’s okay to make mistakes, and you will still be there for them: 

"For our kids in foster care, they're constantly going through life thinking, 'If I make a mistake, then I have no one.' Our goal as foster families is to make them build those connections, make them feel that love, and build trust in the home. They want to feel worthy of the space in your home. And we have the power to do that with them."

Some children in foster care have special therapeutic needs, requiring additional care and attention. 

While this can come with challenges, such as extra visits to the doctor, the Robinson family shares their experience of caring for children with medical needs:

"It's given us great joy to take care of children who are medically fragile. They've had various physical needs. Some of them have had great challenges, but it's been our honor to care for them and watch them heal, grow, and develop."

Their testimony highlights the deep satisfaction that comes from providing specialized care. Watching children overcome challenges and flourish is a profound and moving experience.

Watching Your Child’s First Milestones

One of the most rewarding experiences for new foster parents is witnessing their child's first milestones. These moments are filled with joy, pride, and overwhelming love.

Charisma Bowman, a foster parent from Maryland, vividly recalls the excitement of seeing her child in care take their first steps:

"At 11 months old you started walking. I think I scared you with my excited squeals, but you eventually got used to it and challenged yourself to go further each day. My heart exploded with love."

Every small step forward is a reminder of the growth and progress children in care can make in a loving environment.

Anne Powell, also from Maryland, shares her delight at seeing her child in care's development and the love they have brought into her home:

“You go to school. I was so proud of your bravery taking the school bus for the first time. You have had many first experiences here and handle them like a champ.”

These moments of progress and joy make the journey of foster parenting so incredibly rewarding.

Forming a Bond

Forming a bond with a child in care is a heartfelt and transformative experience. It's about building trust, offering unwavering support, and creating a deep connection that helps a child feel truly valued and loved.

It also takes time — patience is a virtue here! 

Bill Ewoldt, a dedicated foster parent from Maryland, shares his commitment:

"I want you to understand that my commitment to you goes beyond words. I am here to support you, to listen to you, and to fight for you every step of the way."

This commitment is not just about meeting physical needs but also about being a source of emotional support.

Forming a bond with a child in care means showing up every day, being present, and demonstrating through actions that the child is cared for and valued. 

This bond is the foundation for helping children in foster care feel secure and confident as they navigate their lives.

Empowering Your Child

Empowering a child in care is one of the most impactful things a foster parent can do. 

It's about instilling confidence, encouraging dreams, and providing unwavering support to help them reach their full potential!

Bill emphasizes the importance of empowerment in his letter to his child:

"You are capable of achieving anything you set your mind to, and I will be here to cheer you on every step of the way."

Empowerment comes from creating opportunities for children in care to explore their interests, develop their skills, and pursue their goals. It's about being their biggest cheerleader, providing guidance, and celebrating their achievements, no matter how small.

Maintaining a Relationship With Biological Families

When possible, maintaining a relationship with a child's biological family can be a crucial part of the foster care experience. It requires openness, empathy, and a willingness to build bridges for the child's well-being.

Erin, a dedicated foster parent, speaks about the importance of fostering positive connections with biological families:

"We have to be willing to reach out, to give that olive branch, to offer the grace in the hopes of building something that is much bigger than me or her. We are building something that is going to be an incredible life for this little boy who didn't choose any of it."

Erin's words highlight the selflessness and compassion needed to navigate these relationships. By extending kindness and understanding, foster parents can help create a supportive network that benefits the child immensely.

This collaboration is often essential in making the child's transition smoother and ensuring their emotional and psychological well-being. It's about working together to provide the best possible life for the child, acknowledging that their needs and happiness are the top priority.

What About Fostering Teens?

Many people have uncertainties about fostering teens. However, there is a profound difference foster parents can make in teenagers’ lives.

Erin, an experienced foster parent, shares her insights on fostering teens:

"What I have discovered is that working with teenagers is incredibly impactful. And in fact, I have seen such significant changes when working with teens that it's right before your eyes. It's so amazing to be able to see the changes happening right in front of you every day."

The daily transformations she witnesses show how impactful and meaningful fostering older children can be.

Fighting the Need for Perfection

Foster parenting, like all forms of parenting, is a journey filled with highs and lows. 

It's natural to worry about making mistakes. But it's important to remember that striving for perfection is not the goal!

Erin shares her perspective on this:

"If you go to bed at night wondering if you messed up or feeling guilty about how you parented that day, that is what makes you a good parent. Because those are the moments where we are constantly and consistently growing, changing, learning, trying to be better — for all of our kids."

She also emphasizes the value of being authentic and understanding:

"We're not looking for perfection. We want foster families who have a story. We want foster families who have achieved things. We want foster families who are down to earth and understand that people make mistakes. Adults make mistakes and kids make mistakes and we can always come back from those."

This quote highlights the importance of being authentic and resilient. Fostering, like so many worthwhile things in life, will have its ups and downs.

A Love Greater than Words

The love foster parents feel for their children often transcends words. 

It's a deep, heartfelt connection that shapes both the child and the parent in profound ways.

Erin addresses a common concern among those considering foster care:

"I think a lot of foster families are afraid that they will get too attached to these kids. I always try to remind people that every single child deserves to have someone who is too attached. 

“We want you to be attached, and we want these kids to be attached. And in all honesty, the large majority of these attachments that you build, within the relationship view and the shared parenting idea, you will not lose these attachments."

Erin's words beautifully capture the essence of the deep bonds that form between foster parents and the children they welcome into their heart and home. The fear of becoming too attached is natural. 

However, it's important to remember that these attachments are vital for the child's emotional growth and stability — and, as Erin shares, you do not have to lose them. 

Foster parents should embrace these connections fully, knowing that their love and dedication provide a crucial foundation for the child's sense of security and belonging. These bonds often endure, continuing to enrich the child's and the parent's lives long after the fostering period ends.

Loving a child in care with all your heart means being there for them unconditionally, offering a haven where they can thrive and feel valued. This powerful love helps children in care heal, grow, and develop into confident, resilient individuals.

Learn More About What It's Like Being a Foster Parent

Get a sneak peek into the world of fostering with Letters Written with Love, a digital scrapbook of letters from foster parents to the children in their care. 

Access your free copy now, and experience the love, hope, and joy of foster parents who have been there.