The story of everyone’s childhood is unique — some are filled with happy memories and some with hardship. Thankfully, most kids grow up with a sense of belonging somewhere, being tethered to someone.
It’s like having an invisible center of gravity as a child, knowing where home is and the people who expect you to be there.
Jason has a different childhood story. He lived in residential care for nearly a decade. He learned how to live on someone else’s schedule — when to shower, when to eat, when he’d be going “off grounds.”
By age 17, Jason didn’t expect permanency. He didn’t expect to be part of a family or home, until he was finally placed in foster care rather than residential care.
And then, one day, his new foster dad introduced him to a friend with these simple words:
"This is my son."
Jason wasn’t legally adopted. He was almost a legal adult, nearly aged out of foster care. But in that moment, he felt something surprising and unexpected:
"I belonged."
At birth, Jason’s biological parents and extended family members were unable to care for him, so he was placed in residential state care.
Jason compares living in residential care to being “generalized” — feeling like a number. He explains, “You’re just told what to do, when to do it, how to do it.”
Though there was consistency in this childhood experience of schedules, rules, and supervision, there was a lack of stability. Rather than remembering being in a household and relationships with family, Jason’s early memories revolve around asking for permission to do simple things — and avoiding the consequences of being “oppositional.”
It’s never too late for kids, including teens, to find a family through foster care.
Jason discovered his family and a sense of permanency at age 17, when he got a placement with his foster dad.
Jason remembers, "I was the oldest one they’d taken in. They took a chance — and it worked out."
Through his father's guidance and encouragement, Jason began to realize a new sense of “normal” and being at home with a family.
After asking permission for things like getting some milk or going outside, Jason remembers his foster dad sharing that asking was unnecessary. “It’s okay. You can do it.”
Permanency became a reality for Jason when he heard his Dad say to others, “This is my son.”
The word “foster” wasn’t used as a qualifier or a signal of something separate. Jason's Dad didn’t distinguish Jason as anything other than his son.
Jason says, “That to me was a big milestone of ‘I’m part of the family,’ I’m not just someone passing through.”
Jason and his father never signed adoption papers, but are connected as father and son.
Jason reports that he regularly talks with and consults his dad, and his dad is involved in his children’s lives as well — even attending family parties. He points out that, in life, “We all need a little bit of help and guidance.”
In Jason’s case, his foster dad gave him help, guidance, and the gift of a lasting connection and sense of family that he carries through to his own sons.
The fear of getting too attached can hold many people back from fostering. Jason understands why, but still encourages people to explore becoming a foster parent.
When asked about the worry of attachment, he says, "That’s when you know that you care."
He urges prospective foster parents to let go of the idea that they have to be a "forever home" to make a lifelong impact in the life of a child — and consider the wonderful memories to cherish for everyone.
Kids in foster care have childhood stories that are often filled with separation, uncertainty, and trauma. They benefit from foster parents who can offer safety, stability, and love — not a perfect home, but a welcoming one.
The person who changed Jason’s life wasn’t someone who had all the answers. It was a foster dad who showed up, stayed present, and didn’t stop seeing his son’s potential.
In his own words, Jason describes a good foster parent as someone who is “loving, caring, and supportive.”
Jason is more than a former child in foster care. He’s a father of two boys now. His own parenting is shaped by the permanency someone gave him when he needed it most.
He thoroughly enjoys being there for his sons, though his own childhood story was much different. “It’s such a beautiful moment to see both of them just grow up and different things that you see every single day … I get to really live that now rather than, you know, surviving in a sense.”
If you want to provide a sense of belonging and permanency to a child in foster care, foster parenting is a rewarding first step toward making a positive difference and a lasting relationship.
Take the first step. Talk to a foster care specialist today.