Every child in foster care's story is unique, and honoring their holiday traditions while creating new ones nurtures their emotional healing. These moments spark joy, strengthen family bonds, and help children feel seen, valued, and supported.
The holidays are often painted with the brushstrokes of magic, warmth, and togetherness. For a child in foster care, however, this season can also stir feelings of loss, uncertainty, and longing for familiar faces or traditions. Each child brings to the table a unique history, filled with treasured holiday memories, some joyful and others bittersweet. Recognizing these emotional layers is key to supporting their healing and sense of belonging.
For children in therapeutic or medically fragile foster care, the emotional impact may be intensified by changes in routine, environment, or the absence of biological family members. Approaching the holidays with empathy and understanding helps foster parents nurture a child’s heart, creating space for both cherished memories and new joys.
Traditions are more than routines—they are threads that weave people together, creating a tapestry of belonging and identity. For a child in foster care, honoring their holiday traditions is an affirmation that their story matters and their past has value. These rituals—whether lighting a candle, preparing a special dish, or singing a familiar song—offer comfort and continuity during times of transition.
In our Maryland medically fragile program, Mentor foster parent Erin Lancaster shared how her family’s long standing tradition of celebrating Saint Nicholas Day has become a source of comfort and connection for the children in their home:
"I remember, as a young girl, placing our shoes out on the night December 5th in anticipation of chocolate coins the next morning. Now, especially having a husband named Nick, Saint Nicholas Day is just as special!
Every year the children in our home get an ornament to place on the tree, some chocolate, and a small gift - often matching PJs to kick off the Christmas season on Saint Nick’s feast day.
Last year was particularly memorable, as we had just taken placement of a little one a few days prior. It was a wonderful opportunity to welcome him into the family, whether for a short or long time.
Special events and holidays can be overwhelming at times when parenting children with sensory needs or developmental disabilities. A sweet side effect of our long-time family tradition is that our children get a “trial run” of Christmas morning in a low key environment. Often times our children can find new things to be challenging, while familiar things encourage more participation and enjoyment.
Sprinkling in some magic throughout December has been a source of joy in our home. Sending good cheer from the Lancaster home."
Erin’s story reflects what so many foster families experience during the holidays—small, meaningful rituals that help children feel safe, welcomed, and seen. Her family’s tradition offers both structure and delight, and for a child entering their home, it becomes a gentle introduction to the magic of the season.
While honoring existing traditions is important, creating new ones together can be just as magical. New traditions offer opportunities for healing, growth, and the building of positive memories for both foster parents and the child in their care. Whether it’s baking cookies with adaptive tools for a child with medical needs, decorating the house with handmade crafts, or volunteering together, each new ritual nurtures connection and a sense of home.
These shared experiences help children in care feel seen and valued within their foster family, reinforcing that their presence is cherished. New traditions also demonstrate that love and belonging can be found and created, no matter where a child's journey takes them.
Blending traditions can be a beautiful way to honor a child’s history while embracing the future. Start by inviting the child in care to share their favorite holiday memories or rituals. Ask questions like, “What’s something special your family used to do during the holidays?” or “Is there a dish, song, or activity that feels magical to you?”
Foster parents can incorporate these elements into their own celebrations—perhaps setting aside time for a favorite holiday story, preparing a traditional meal together, or including a symbolic decoration from the child’s past. Alongside these, introduce new traditions unique to your family, such as a holiday movie night, creating a gratitude jar, or making care packages for others. The blending of old and new can make the season feel both comforting and exciting.
Open dialogue is key during the holidays. Approach conversations with warmth and curiosity, affirming that all feelings are welcome. You might say, “I know the holidays might feel different this year. Would you like to tell me about how you used to celebrate?” Inviting the child to share honors their story and helps them feel valued, giving them a meaningful role in shaping how your family celebrates together.
Share why traditions matter for your family and express excitement about creating special memories as a team. Remind the child that it’s okay to miss old traditions while also embracing new joys.
If possible, involving biological families in holiday celebrations can be deeply meaningful. This might mean arranging a visit, sharing photos, or collaborating on a special holiday project or recipe. Even a simple phone call or virtual gathering can create magical moments and maintain important family bonds.
If direct involvement isn’t possible, consider small gestures like displaying a photo or writing holiday cards together. These actions show the child in care that their connections are honored and that love extends beyond one household.
If helping children who need a home and supportive care is in your heart, see if you meet the basic qualifications to foster with Mentor Foster Care.
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